Poo

If talking about poo offends you, don’t read any further. And no, I’m not talking about “pooh” as in Winnie the Pooh. Besides the number of times a day and what color and consistency all moms keep a mental track of, poo provides comic relief in our household. I was inspired to write this post after an incident this morning. Maddox was sitting in my lap after a nice lunch and started innocently grunting. The grunting itself is quite hysterical on its own. The face turns red, holding his breath, and making the funniest faces. I keep saying I want to get this on video. Anyway, he was grunting away and then poo exploded onto my leg. I actually heard a pop sound from it coming out of the diaper. Now, starts the balance of cleaning without making things worse. I hold the baby out, slightly tilted as to not let more come out of the diaper. I stand up with one leg bent forward to keep the poo sliding down and onto the carpet, and I carefully make my way to the changing table in that position and lay the baby down. There, I’ve confined the damage to one area at this point. Now the undressing…for me that is. It was so bad I had to wipe my leg first before I could take the pants off. Now I’m poo free…for now. Onto the baby. This is the really delicate process. You have many obstacles you are about to have to overcome. The baby is now happy, wanting to play, kick, and flail his arms all around. You stop the bleeding by damming the area of breakthough with wipes (that’s after you clean the leg). Then you roll-up the onesie to prevent smearing up the back. Sometimes, that one cannot be avoided given the position of the poo. You go for the diaper removal part. I lean over to get to work and the strings that tie on my shirt fall into it! Seriously, are you kidding me? Now I have to take my shirt off before I get it on more places. Back to work and now his little flailing hands are getting dangerously close to it. After many wipes, finally the area is clear and time to take the onesie off...very carefully. He looks at me and is smiling like this is the best thing ever. What do you do with that? You can’t be mad so you just laugh and smile back to the sweetest thing you’ll ever know, your baby. I’m not sure the khaki capri pants will recover from the incident, but who cares in the end right? The baby is now redressed, all just to repeat again another day I’m sure! I texted Jeff to tell him I just got “seriously pooed on” and he replies, “Yes!”. As you can tell, he was quite happy to hear this as just a few days earlier he was holding Lake and a similar incident occurred.

I don’t want to leave pee out either. Especially with baby boys. The pee fountains that go everywhere and on everything and I’ll never forget the first week we brought Lake home and he kept soaking everything. No one had told me to point it down!!! He literally was peeing out of his diaper. Also, there’s nothing like going into Lake’s room to get him first thing in the morning. He’s so excited to see you with giggles and squeals. A few weeks back, I went to get him and he was laying there, on his tummy, head on pillow and blanket covering him. He sees me and pops up wanting me to pick him up. I happily grab and hug him. And then, I feel wet all over my shirt. He was soaked in the front from shirt down his shorts. How did he have this much pee on him? He was just laying there, all snuggly and innocent! The hug was still worth it!

While I know we are no where close to leaving these days behind us with a 3 month old and 2 year old (I don’t even want to know what potty training has in store for us), I know one day I’ll forget all of this…thus the poo post!

Sorry baby boys, but you are full of it!